I had a dream the other night I was dating someone…
In it, I remember talking to my girlfriends about him. I remember them asking if I had had sex with him yet. I hadn’t, because I didn’t know him well enough to trust he wasn’t a player. It turns out that my friends knew him and said he was a great guy. I remember feeling both relief and excitement, because damn did I like him! I remember thinking maybe the next time we met —
And then I woke up!
When it came back to me later that day, it hit me that I didn’t even get to have sex in my dream! I also had the realization that I haven’t had sex since NYE of 2019! That’s pretty sad when you’re not even intentionally trying to be celibate! Of course, I could have slept with the only guy I dated and kissed last year, but fortunately I dodged a bullet by not, after finding out he called himself “Siem Reap’s Biggest Fuck Boy”! (Keep an eye on out for my next tell-all post dedicated to that brief, but horrible relationship.)
There was also the guy recently, that I wrote about at the end of my last blog post And then He kissed Me. One time he did make a drunken play, but how disastrous would that have been when we both have admitted to wanting different things? Add in the emotional attachment this would create for me, along with the distrust I have after my experience with “Siem Reap’s Biggest Fuck Boy”, and I’m pretty content leaving it at some great kisses.
That being said, now is by far the longest I have ever gone without sex! I’m sincerely starting to worry that I’ll forget what to do. It makes me wonder if it will be similar to speaking a language, such as “If you don’t use it, you’ll lose it”? Or will it be more like riding a bicycle? -Something you learned how to do a long, long time ago, but when you haven’t done it for awhile you’re clumsy and need that first initial ride, no pun intended, to remind both your body and brain how to do it again. Oh god! This surely means the first time I have sex, after at minimum eighteen months, its going to be bad! If that’s the case, maybe I shouldn’t be so picky about who I finally do have sex with?
In light of this recent epiphany of my unplanned celibacy, I’ve decided to re-evaluate my options:
- Do I lower my standards?…Since the sex is likely to be bad anyways.
- Do I hook up with someone who lives here, even though I’ve been steadfast in my rule not to ever do that? (Okay, there was that one guy a couple years ago…).
- Do I go on holiday to another city for “fresh meat” and discretion?
- Do I wait until the borders open and I can travel again?
- Do I go back on Tinder, when I haven’t been on it for over six months, and finally swipe right/say yes to one of the approximate fifty guys that have been recycled over and over through my feed for the past year? Men that I have adamantly not been attracted to. Or maybe I should expand my age range again?- I have met some pretty damn hot 22 and 23 year olds in the past…
If you were me, what would you do?
Back when I wrote Sex (less) in the City in April 2020, most of the world had or was going into lockdown. Siem Reap and the rest of Cambodia seemed like it might too. In the eventuation of this happening, I even changed my Tinder bio, which included “Looking for a serious relationship.” to “Come quarantine with me!” It didn’t really solicit the response I was hoping, in part because there was also a mass exodus of people leaving the city and country. If I thought options were bad then, little did I know they could get worse.
Now it’s May 2021. Half the world is still, or back in lockdown. Flights continue to be challenging to get, but many expats who didn’t leave last year are throwing in the towel and leaving now. Where does that leave dating in a would-be tourist town, when the dating pool is continually getting smaller and smaller? Zero tourists, and what feels like three single expat men- I know I’m picky, but this is getting seriously bad! Ugh!
To top it off, we’ve had our own lockdown, albeit short, recently in Siem Reap. Add in a now seemingly endless 8pm curfew and alcohol ban, and there are even less chances to meet someone out. Additionally, parts of the capital have simultaneously been in lockdown. That means, there goes option #3 above, for a holiday there and any chance of meeting some “fresh meat”. Furthermore, even if I did go, I’d likely have more of a possibility of getting stuck in a hotel room alone in quarantine, than meeting someone for a date. – And yes, I actually know someone this recently happened to! Not exactly what I had in mind for why I wouldn’t leave a hotel room for 48 hrs…
Oh, but wait, the unimaginable has just happened! I met someone new in town! It actually took all my willpower not to jump on him and claim him for myself! I really hope he couldn’t see that I’m as sex-starved as I feel. Did I play it cool? Fuck, I hope so! Although not normally my type, who am I to pass up a good looking guy who’s recently arrived to town? This pandemic is causing my rules to go out the window faster than I can remember them!
Luckily, I had even shaved my legs that day. It was the first time in a month, six weeks, or could it have actually been two months? Some might say it’s nice not to be worried about shaving legs or getting bikini waxes. Sure, I could save some money too. But I guess when I’ve done it in the past, there was always that anticipation of “just in case”. Although nothing eventuated from meeting this guy, I still felt better for having done it, instead of feeling like a Woolly Mammoth! Is it too much to hope what a bikini wax for the first time this year might bring?
This continued Sex (less) in the City matter is certainly making me re-think many things. Believe it or not, I’m actually re-considering my stance on unsolicited dick pics. Normally unwelcome, and a complete turn off, receiving one now feels like a new level of foreplay and excitement! What has the world come to when this is what I have most to look forward to?
A friend said something the other day which I thought was quite fitting of my elusive search: “Prince Charming is like some YouTube music on Instagram: ‘Not available in this country.’.” Unfortunately, it seems at the moment, finding either Mr. Right or a Mr. Right-Now, are both a fairytale. If I do though, you’ll be the first hear- especially if you’re my neighbor —
If you enjoyed this post, check out some of my previous posts, such as the prequel Sex (less) in the City, Are you my Mr. Right?, Lock up your sons! -There’s a Cougar on the loose!, and The First Time I Fell in Love. You can follow me here, or on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/jossdatingblog/