Are you two on a Tinder date?

Let’s imagine you live in a small town, and you have an impending Tinder date. Now, even if you’re fine with meeting someone from Tinder, do you really want the world to know that you are? Is it really anyone’s business? Unless you’re one of those people looking for fame and have signed up for a reality tv show, I highly doubt you are shouting from the rooftops “Hey, look at me, I’m on a Tinder date!” I personally haven’t met anybody who wanted to advertise they were on a date, let alone a Tinder date. Dating is hard enough. Meeting someone you don’t know can be overwhelming, and even intimidating. No one needs the added pressure of everyone in the room knowing that you’re on a date, and watching how it pans out. It seems to happen all too many times, especially if you live in a small town like I do.

Where can you go for a date then? Where are some places that might be a bit more discreet? Places that feel like all the people who do you know, can’t watch, and therefore gossip, and tease.

I’ve come up with a list of some date ideas and venues that might not be quite so obvious that you’re on a date. Hopefully, in some of these places, you can relax and get to know each other, without feeling that you’re in some kind of movie for the rest of the town to watch. Some of these are slightly more specific to where I currently live, but are also from dates I’ve been on in the past. I’ve even added a couple ideas that I haven’t done yet, and checked off that ones that I have.

1. Bowling- This is the type of thing that is always fun for a first date. It doesn’t matter if you’re good or bad. Hell, you could have some extra fun wagering, and say whoever loses has to buy dinner or drinks after. There’s also less pressure to hold such face-to-face conversation, as your doing an activity in between. ✔
2. Mini-golf- Similar to above for the atmosphere it provides, except at least you don’t have the ugly shoes to contend with. Winning!
3. A Spirits Taste Testing- No, not one of those “$5- All You Can Drink” things, but something a little more classy. For example, here in Siem Reap there is a restaurant called Georges Rhumerie that does a Rum Taste Testing with various flavors of Rum you can try. As they are small pours, there’s little chance of getting too tipsy next to your date. It could also be great conversation starter, as you two debate over your favorite flavors.
4. A Pool- Okay, I know what some of you ladies are thinking– “Shit, that requires me to wear a swimsuit!” Why yes it does! On one of my many dates as the “Bachelorette” recently, we met me for lunch and a swim at my favorite pool (check out Being The Bachelorette in the archives below to read all about it). I do understand, though, that lots of you aren’t going to necessarily be into a daytime pool date. This is what I propose instead- go in the evening! If where you live is like Siem Reap and close to the equator, it’ll get dark between 545-645pm year round. Yes, the pool will be slightly lit up, but it won’t be anything like the bright starkness of daylight, where you might feel like every part of your cellulite shows.- Ughh! Anyways, I have also enjoyed some really great evening dates at this same pool. I like to call them “Moonlight Swim Dates”. The hotel-pool I go to also does yummy food and cocktails, so you can literally hide in the water if you want to, the entire time sipping cocktails while you get to know your date. Check out pics of my favorite spot shown below, and start to imagine yourself there with a date right now!

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See, I knew you’d like it!

*Note: Ladies- when it’s dark, you also don’t have to worry about how recent your last bikini waxing was either* ✔

5. The Beach- No, I’m not talking about the movie where people die! Think similar to a pool, whether it’s daytime or evening, the beach is a great, casual place to meet someone. I have had a couple dates on the beach/lakefront when I lived in Queenstown, NZ, and they were fantastic! Two different guys, one year apart, drinks and take away dinner. One time dinner was even delivered to us on the lakefront! No one would ever have guessed, either time, it was a first or second date. ✔
6. The Escape Room- I haven’t done it, but I reckon it would be a super fun way to get to know your date while you try to “break out of jail” or “solve a murder mystery”.
7. Ice skating- Ideally, one or both of you might want to know how to skate. I once took a guy ice skating on our second date, when I lived in Dublin. I learnt how to skate when I was 3 years old, however, it was only his second time. I had to hold him up most of the time! We ended up having an amazing date. ✔
8. Paint & Sip- If where you live has something like this on, what better way to get to know one another than getting tipsy, and if you’re anything like me, while painting badly. Paint + wine sounds like a great time to me!
9. Food Festival- This can be a great way to get to know one another as you taste heaps of different foods. You could even pick out a dish for each other to try. ✔
10. Salsa Dancing- What, neither of you dance Salsa? Sign up for the free lessons that are part of a local event, or offered as an intro for a class. I once matched with a guy on Tinder in Vancouver who Salsa danced. We went to a Salsa club for our date, and it was so much fun!- Bonus points if the guy can Salsa, as a guy who can dance, is hot, hot, hot! ✔

Of course, not every town or city you live in has these types of venues, especially depending on the time of year. If they do though, I definitely recommend trying somewhere new. You might find it’s just the thing to help make that Tinder date a little more special.

Here’s what not to do if you’d prefer that everyone didn’t know you were on a Tinder date! — Do not get your date to meet you at an event held at an expat bar, for a local NGO school! I once did this, and blame the horrible flu-fever I had at the time. Luckily my date was a good sport, and even wore my clothes as it was a Drag Bingo fundraiser. He did query, however, how many people I told that I was on a Tinder date when one of the MC’s of the night came over to take the piss out of us! That’s when I had to explain, that as the only tourist in an expat bar- of whom I was rubbing my hands down his wash-board stomach — it was pretty obvious! In the end, he didn’t seem to care, but not something I would do again.- Unless you don’t mind what feels like the entire expat community gossiping about you the next day. — It was the lesson that just happened to inspire this post. At least you guys can learn from my mistake, and now have new ideas of where to go- as nobody likes to be asked “Are you two on a Tinder date?” Good luck, and happy dating!

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Follow me here, or check out my FB page https://www.facebook.com/jossdatingblog/ to find out when my next post about The Game is out. Don’t forget to check out previous posts in the archives below, such as Being the “Bachelorette”, Lock up your sons! — There’s a Cougar on the Loose!, and my debut post Are you my Mr. Right?