Have you ever been asked multiple times over the years “Why is a great, cool girl like you single?” As flattering as that might seem, did you ever just want to reply “Because I’m fucking crazy!” to shut them up? Granted, not the best way to answer, but points for being a smart-ass! I reckon, though, many of you will have probably answered like me “Because I want to be.” What??! You mean a woman can be happy on her own? I think if you asked around, many people would actually find this hard to believe- that a woman does not need a man to be happy. Well, it’s true for a lot of us, myself included. I am extremely independant, but now I’m also ready to give my time to someone, to finally have that Mr. Right in my life.
So, assuming you’re single, my question to you is– Have you ever asked people you don’t know well, or even complete strangers, if they knew anyone you could date? Sounds a bit scary to put yourself out there like that, doesn’t it? Well, I can attest to the fact that it sure the fuck is! It seems, though, I still have some dignity left to lose. I have been known at various parties and events to ask all the girls “Do you know any single guys I could date? Your brother, a cousin, your boyfriend’s brother, your dad, your son??” Now I’m just talking shit, well, kind of. I mean dating someone’s dad would just be weird, and ewww, gross! In all honesty, I cannot ever imagine dating anyone that was old enough, or even close enough in age to be my father! As for sons, well, the last time a girlfriend had her son visit her from overseas, she wouldn’t even let me meet him! Ummm, so much for dating him! How does that saying go? It’s “Lock up your sons!”, isn’t it? —
Now, back to those parties and events I mentioned earlier. There was yet another time at a ‘Girls Nite’ Christmas dinner-party where I introduced myself, and asked if they knew anyone single I could date. Then there was that time at a fundraiser where I even passed out phone numbers! Shit, now I’m sounding desperate again, aren’t I??!! Okay, I get it, but here’s the thing– I’ve been single for a bit, and by a bit, I mean like years, and by years, I mean like fucking years. In fact, just the other week I was on a date with a guy who happened to ask me how long I’ve been single. The truth — I have been single for the majority of the last 15 years! Almost the entire time I’ve been traveling and living overseas.
What I hate now is that I feel like the longer time goes on, the more people judge me and think “What’s wrong with her?” Hey, I get it– 15 years is a long fucking time! As I mentioned earlier though, I’ve been happily single for most of that time. It was only when a few years ago that I was able to base myself in a country long term I thought “Getting involved with a guy again might actually be okay.” Okay, as in “I might not get my heart broken when my Visa expires and I have to leave the country” okay. Yes, that’s actually happened– twice. Living the expat life for so many years by this point, knowing I was finally, somewhat more easily, able to stay somewhere for more than a year was definitely a game changer. I slowly began to become more open-minded to the idea of dating again, and eventually began my search of looking for my Mr. Right.
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